Outfit Details -
Topshop Frill Satin High Neck Blouse (similar) . Warehouse Straight Cut Jean (similar) . Daniel Wellington Classic Rose Gold Watch . Daisy Street Black Mid Heeled Shoes . Warehouse Linen Longline Duster Coat (similar) . Alex Monroe Baby Bee Necklace . Fiorelli Jenson Across Body Bag (similar)
Around about August last year I was seeing a guy who, one day showed me a picture that one of his ex girlfriends had posted to Instagram, the picture was of her in a lace bralette, he went onto say that he found this to be "slutty" and indirect tweeted about how he thought it wasn't classy of her. At the time inside my head I was admiring both how she looked in the bralette and also her confidence, but I timidly nodded my head in agreement regardless. Funnily enough a couple of weeks later he uploaded a picture of himself to Instagram, completely topless, with one hand holding onto his crotch. Now, whilst most people can probably tell that things did not work out with this guy and somebody should probably sit him down and tell him that it is not ok to speak about females in that way (because trust me, there was more where that came from) and of course I know that not all males have this thought process or are this way inclined, hell I know some females that would still bash other females for posting a cheeky bra pic. But we, as females should not be judged for doing the exact same thing that is perfectly, seemingly normal and acceptable for a male to do. Everyone remembers the whole JB getting praised for his ripped bod and Miley Cyrus being bashed for showing the exact same amount of skin right?
But what I really wanted to touch on here is that there's also something to be said for people like me, who have sometimes agreed in silence and don't speak up because they're afraid of too being seen as a "slut". In the situation I've mentioned above, I knew what was right, I knew what I should have said to him in reply, I should have stood up for this girl. But I didn't because I was too afraid of what he would think of me for thinking what she was doing was perfectly alright.
I've also seen bloggers shoot beautiful, ethereal and admirable posts of themselves in some new (very pretty) lingerie, whether that was because they were part of a campaign with a brand or they were speaking about their own body confidence, does just the fact that the pictures are of these women in their underwear, make them a "slut"? We all know whats under there, we're not primary school children and I just want to know why if a woman feels good enough about herself in a society filled with body shaming, name calling and bashing left right & centre, to showcase that where she may like, why should that not be celebrated instead of shamed?
|I can't stop looking at this picture and thinking about how awkward it would have been if the person who lives in that house came out and found me posing outside their front door lmao.|
True, there may be a line that should probably be drawn between living your life in your truest self, as a female, doing whatever you want, wearing whatever you want, and well, posting HD pictures of your actual vagina to Instagram, which I have never actually seen anyone do but, I think that may class as porn. If you have that LBD on and you're feeling yo self, you're about to go OUT out and the size of your cleavage decides to not coincide with your actual dress size and it's boobie central (I do not have this problem, but I have friends in bigger boobed places). If you've got it, flaunt it, and whoever's dirty uncle Albert is staring at you from the bar is not your problem. Just because you look good, and most importantly you FEEL good about yourself, and snippets of your natural body parts may be on show, it doesn't mean your intention is to have sex with everyone in the room.
I knew a girl at my old work place who told me once that it was a hot summers day, she was out for a bike ride with her family, she wore a skirt and this car slowed down behind her, a man rolled down his window and whistled at her and her own dad said to her "well that's what you get for wearing a skirt". We can all hope and pray for ourselves, for our children and for our children's children, but I'm honestly not sure if at least in this life time we'll ever live in a world where certain men don't stare, or wolf whistle at you whilst you're just trying to walk home from work, or pull over in their van by my 16 year old sister who's waiting at the bus stop, just to tell her "coorr look at that" and wink at her, or label women as "sluts" for celebrating themselves on social media. They're probably always going to be there, which is really sad, but the least we can do as females is stick up for each other or speak up if we think someone has said something that makes you stop and think "hang on a second, that's not quite right". Sure, everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but I for one don't have time for remarks that should be kept away in the sexist department of the filing cabinet.
"Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. She will need her sisterhood."
To end this post, let's just take a moment of appreciation for this pink, satin, ruffles galore blouse I discovered in the Topshop sale a couple of weeks ago for £7!! It was the only one of two left in my size, I think that's what they mean when they talk about true love and "meant to be's". Happy Tuesday, don't forget to spread some love.
I've always been a big jewellery lover, for as long as I can remember, I'm talking as far back as in the days of the love heart sweets bracelets & necklaces in primary school that doubled as a stylish accessory and a tasty treat.. What more could a girl want? I like to think I've come a little way since then in terms of jewellery pieces! I remember getting a little bit older and owning pretty much every statement ring Topshop/Miss Selfridge had to offer.. Anyone remember when everyone started wearing sculls on their fingers because it was SO in to be grunge in the jewellery department? Upside down crosses as necklaces in pretty colours/patterns because in year 8 you were satan but not that satan. Then came the Pandora birth stone ring trend that seemed to take over, all of the 'cool' girls in school had one and of course I wanted to seem cool and stylish too but when it came down to asking for one for my birthday I realised that I didn't actually want to be wearing the same ring that every other girl in my school had on. Since then I have collected a few very pretty Pandora rings, no birth stone ring, but I still I love love love them and all of the rose gold they seem to be adding in recently. In the last year or two I have been branching out with my jewellery finds and just opting for a few more special pieces, apart from those £4 rose gold Topshop hoop earrings I posted about on my Instagram because honestly LOOK at them, give a girl a break.
So when the lovely people over at Lola Rose offered to gift one of their many very beautiful bracelets to me, upon visiting the site for the first time I was h o o k e d with all of the pretty! There was a very long "yaaaaaaaaaas" that went off in my head. I was particularly intrigued by the beaded bracelets and ended up opting for the Greenwich Bracelet in Pearl Quartzite. I'll definitely be adding Lola Rose to my list of jewellery brands to keep an eye on (or pieces to add to my birthday list), for starters it's not very often that I come across a jewellery brand that sells pieces that range in price from £28 - £125, usually you see the £125 and it just gets higher from there! So I love that there are some more very special pieces and then some equally as beautiful, not going to break your bank and can even buy a couple at one time kind of pieces. Because I really feel like the kind of bracelet such as the one I chose would look really nice and is dainty/subtle enough to add another one similar next to it or to stack with other bracelets/a watch, it's very pretty without screaming "I'm super fancy", I leave that up to my collection of glittery eyeshadows.
I've had a little thing for precious/semi-precious stones, especially when it comes to jewellery for a while and I love love love how Lola Rose's beaded bracelets collection also add little touches of gold, rose gold and silver running through the bracelet and of course the little signature "LR" disc attached to the drawstring. I feel it just adds that little bit extra and of course makes it look super pretty. They have a range of plenty of lovely colours in these bracelets and such a range of differences in the beads/patterns, whilst still looking subtle, dainty and so cute, which is just what gives me the jewellery heart eyes! Of course following on with my obsession for all things pink recently, I was having this discussion whilst doing a spot of shopping with my friend Beth the other day, I accidentally laid my eyes upon a pink jumper with slightly waved bell sleeves from about 25 steps away in M&S from the escalator and practically ran to it, and it was the saddest love story ever when I realised I could not afford it.
I set my heart upon the Pearl Quartzite, the beads are the prettiest, most subtle light pink/rose pearl shade and I am so in love with the colour of the drawstring, it's just the most gorgeous pinky nude and then the rose gold detailing too (we all KNOW how I feel about that) all of the colours just fit in so nicely together and I do love that it's adjustable because I don't tend to wear bracelets that often having quite tricky wrists they're small, but also quite stubby if that makes sense at all lol and there's nothing worse than either investing in or receiving a really lovely bracelet that just doesn't fit.
What Lola Rose Say:
"Our stunning Bangle Bar collection presents a range of stackable and collectable friendship bracelets showcasing an array of semi-precious stones and contemporary metal details. Mix and match these beautiful beaded bracelets for a playful, colourful addition to your outfit, each one is adjustable meaning it is also a perfect gift for someone special."
I also feel that it's very important I mention that each of these bracelets and I'm pretty sure all of their pieces although don't quote me on this, come in the cutest not only pink but VELVET pouches, AH. As well I think their dainty chain type pieces are absolutely beautiful, there's a few rose gold pieces I really have my eye on such as the Bassa Mini Facet Bracelet, obsessed!! I'm thinking I would really like to pick up a couple of the beaded bracelets for my sisters too eventually as they do have a pretty special friendship bracelet vibe and I can see that my sister has her eye on this one already, at least I'll know where it is if it goes missing!
What's your favourite jewellery brand of the moment?
- This item was gifted to me & is in collaboration with Lola Rose, but all views are from yours truly. -
This was originally going to be "A Wintery Beauty Look" and whilst it still is, since it's Valentine's Day tomorrow I thought I would base it on that, considering this is quite a 'date night, romantic' kind of eye and lip. But as much as it does look beautiful outside and the sunshine is inviting, it is still definitely winter and it is still definitely freezing cold. As I'm writing this I am trying to get as close to my radiator as I possibly can without falling down the side of my bed, it is SO cold in my house even with the heating on, so I suppose we can make this post a little bit of both. And really I have accumulated quite a few pretty decent beauty bits, some old and some new that I just needed an excuse to talk about! I'm not mentioning every single product I have on my face in this post, just my favourites that I believe to be staples.
Illamasqua Radiance Veil Primer - I'd never really gotten that into using primers until just recently, I'm trying to recall but I'm pretty sure this might be the first primer I've ever used, after 20 years on this earth! I just never really saw a need for it, my make up always stayed in place and I have quite dry skin. But I love love love Illamasqua and when they released these primers a good while ago now I knew I'd have to snap one of them up eventually. I love highlighter, and I'll get to that in just a moment! I've never really been a fan of the really matte/lots of powder look, although I do use powder, I try and keep it to a light dusting. I like my make up to look nice and glowing/dewy, this primer is pretty much a primer and highlighter in one and I am obsessed with it. It's the prettiest light pink shade for starters, and the pot is so huge I'm convinced it's going to last me forever, I use this all over my face to prime before my base but I particularly concentrate on the high points of my face such as the brow bone, nose bridge/arch, my cupids bow and chin, so when I get to putting my highlighter on over the top of my CC cream/foundation, it just enhances it and even without a sweeping of highlighter, just really brightens up my face.
Bourjois CC Cream - I've been asked quite a bit lately from family and friends "What foundation are you wearing?" And I always love to see the look on their faces when I say it's not actually technically foundation that I'm wearing, it's just a cc cream. I've been repurchasing this I'm pretty sure since around August/September time last year partly because I'm always poor and it literally costs £9.99!! But mostly because it's sooo light on my skin, but at the same time very very good coverage, it always looks so natural and it doesn't budge I kid you not ALL day, perfect for a Valentine's evening date night when you need your make up to be on your side the most.
Charlotte Tilbury Luxury Eyeshadow Palette's in Uptown Girl & The Sophisticate - I have expressed my undying love for CT and her long list of beautiful amazing fabulous good for the heart and soul beauty products many a time on this blog so I won't ramble on for too long with that same old chatter, but for this look I decided to use the two champagne/pink shimmery shades out of Uptown Girl & the two brown shades out of The Sophisticate. One of the many things I love about these palette's is that all of the shades work really well together meaning you can mix and match, lot's of love for these little pans.
Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Glow - I've had this palette since around August/September maybe and I've only just started to hit pan the tiniest little bit on the highlighter, and I do believe that's only down to the fact that my sister has been pinching it here and there, Suzie if you're reading this, I see you. So although it's pricey, it's beautiful, you're getting two for one and it's going to last you a fair while. This palette is the perfect duo from day to night, everyday use and the bronzer is easily buildable, it's the loveliest warm toned/natural bronzer I have ever used and as for the highlight, let the last two pictures in this post do the talking! It's super pretty and not too sparkly or heavily glittery like some highlighters, it just gives my face a perfect as Charlotte Tilbury herself would say "candlelit" glow. I personally just enjoy dusting a bucket load of highlighter onto the tip of my nose and feeling like a lil fairy.
Illamasqua Glamore Lipstick in Minx - My first Illamasqua lipstick purchase of many! I love this lipstick because although it is a darker shade so perfect for this time of year, and how I'm wearing it in the pictures below I've applied it to it's 'full potential' if you will, but sometimes I just like to dab it on for a much more subtle colour, therefore being appropriate all year round! But it really is the perfect dark pink/nude shade and I'm very much in love with it. This lipstick goes on so smoothly I sometimes forget I'm wearing it and think I have my By Terry balm on my lips! It's also enriched with moisturising Vitamin E, so you're taking care of your lips whilst looking fancy.
Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade - This little round pot of eyebrow goodness has been ranted and raved about to high heavens and there's a very good reason for that, it's the only eyebrow product you'll ever need. Well, at least that's what I think! I've had this same pot for well over a year now and I don't care if anyone thinks that's unsanitary, it works just as well as the day I bought it and I'm still not even close to finishing the pot. You literally need the smallest amount, I use this eyebrow brush by Anastasia to apply it and they're a perfect match. The shade range is brillllll and it shapes my brows beautifully, I finally got my sister to tell me my brows are "on fleek".
Necklace - Alex Monroe
Primer - Illamasqua
Concealer - Too Faced
Base - Bourjois
Face Powder - By Terry
Bronzer/Highlighter - Charlotte Tilbury
Blush - Hourglass
Eyeshadow - Charlotte Tilbury
Liquid Eyeliner - NYX
Mascara - Liz Earle
Eyebrows - Anastasia Beverly Hills
Lip Balm - By Terry
Lipstick - Illamasqua
Well there's my little Valentine's contribution for the year, I hope you all have a lovely day tomorrow whether or not you do have someone to share it with, movie/duvet days and snacks were invented for a reason! Also, can we please just take a second to appreciate this very pink, very ruffled, very satin, very beautiful blouse I got in the top shop sale for £7 whilst shopping with my friend Beth on Saturday!! £7!!! Not forgetting I managed to pick up some pink tulips for 35p from M&S. So much love.
Will you be doing anything nice for Valentine's?
Do people still do monthly favourites? I feel like they used to be something that you saw circling religiously without a doubt, or maybe I've gone a little blind but I just don't feel like I see them as much! Last year my January Favourites was actually my last post before I didn't blog for an entire 9 months unintentionally (there was no baby inside of me I promise).. & there are quite a few things I came to love last month, so many that there are actually a couple I had to miss out because I couldn't fit them in the picture, they'll have to feature some other time! I would like to maybe learn a tune or two before I start talking about how much I love my guitar.. I love my guitar, but I am unable to play it! Yet!
Pai Rosehip Bioregenerate Oil - I would like to eventually do a proper little review on this, I don't remember the last time I did a post dedicated to just one product itself! I've pictured this on my Instagram and spoken of my love for it, as have quite a few other people! It was actually another bloggers in depth talk on it that made me snatch it up. I've only used a few other face oils in the past and I'm still carrying a torch for Liz Earle's Superskin Concentrate. Pai's Rosehip is so lovely, the thought of putting oils on my face always worried me, why would anyone want to do that? Surely it feels horrible? But obviously I am not a skin expert and I was wrong, this oil sinks in so fast and the reason I originally purchased it in the first place is because in the review I read the girl stated that it had been really good for her problem skin and mine has been playing up a little recently, I think it's down to stress, and of course we all love a bit of that! & I do feel like it's been helping, whilst keeping my skin looking hydrated and bright. It does say for best results to apply at night, but I wore it underneath my make up as a daytime serum on Friday and I found that my make up went on a lot nicer and saved my skin from those pesky dry patches. Plus it's a lot more bank balance friendly than the Liz Earle. OH PAI.
Rifle Paper Co. Constellations 2017 Wall Calendar - I don't remember when or how I first discovered Rifle Paper Co. but boy oh boy ever since, I have been obsessed and this discovery is what truly sent me into dreaming of just living in a big fat pile of some pretty ass stationary. I think it's the gold foil print that gets me with this calendar which is now in the sale on the site I found by the way! I have this hanging on my wall by my desk and each new month's page has an illustration of one of the constellations with the prettiest watercolour esq painting blue/purple/green night sky variations and tiny little gold numbers, as soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it. I think I'll be keeping this up for longer than just 2017!
The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald - There aren't many readers/writers who don't admire F. Scott Fitzgerald's work, and if you've never had the delight of reading any of his books then the very popular The Great Gatsby was written in his novel originally. I fall in love with anything that has the ability to transport me to a different time, particularly the 1920's-30's New York jazz age and Fitzgerald's novels do just that. I accidentally purchased the collectors library version of this book, so it's a little smaller than your average book and the edges are laced with a gold trim and a little burgundy page saver ribbon (handy).. I feel like I'm going into grave detail about the appearance of my current favourite book, but I know all my fellow book lovers out there will feel me. My little sister says she thinks it looks like a bible but I think it's cute as hell. Overall I'm really enjoying it so far and every time I pick it up am taken into the lives of Anthony Patch, his friends and his wife Gloria in the 1920's and wishing I was also dressing up all fancy and getting drunk to jazz music until all hours of the morning without a care in the world.
Rifle Paper Co. 17 Month Planner - The one I have pictured here I actually bought towards the end of 2015 and have only just started using it now, what am I like! In an attempt to become a lot more organised and I'd completely forgotten all of the reasons why I loved it so much when I first purchased it, luckily Rifle Paper Co. are always bringing handy things like this out around the beginning of the year so there's no reason for us all to not have our shit together/affairs in order! Of course their planners are super pretty (gold detailing my friends) inside & out, but the thing that I adore the most about them I think is the little inspirational quotes that are printed at the top page for ever new week, such a lovely little touch.
By Terry Brume De Rose - I've mentioned this before in my Morning Skincare Routine if you fancy a little more of an in depth description! But I'm pretty sure it will be in my monthly favourites from month to month because I am not done raving about it. Yes, it is pricey and I did giggle at my boyfriend for responding with a "WHAT" when I told him how much I'd paid for what is seemingly just a lip balm, but it's not JUST a lip balm and it is amazing, end of story. It has saved my life (well maybe not my life, breathing saves my life, that's a little dramatic) with numerous dry patches across my face, without clogging up any pores. I hear By Terry have now bought out a skincare range to match the Baume De Rose hype, so if any of you love it as much as I do, get some of that on your wish list.
Charlotte Tilbury Uptown Girl Quad - I think if you've been reading my blog for a while now, or any other blogger on the planet for that matter then you'll know that Charlotte Tilbury and every single one of her products is the one. & if I ever stop collecting these little quads of sparkly goodness just know that there's something wrong with me. Next on the wish list is Vintage Vamp, come to mama.
Liz Earle Botanical Essence No.20 Fragrance - I may have mentioned this before, as it's been my only go to fragrance since about October, Liz Earle's fragrances always seem to last me so long! As far as I know know they all smell so lovely & there's a good few I'm really eager to give a little sniff/spritz, not forgetting that pretty pretty packaging. No.20 is 87% derived from natural ingredients and resonates with sandalwood & damask rose, this is a little rose garden in pink bottle and I always get the little "Oh, you smell NICE" from Joe.
Kings Of Leon Walls Vinyl - Believe it or not since gaining a record player a year ago, I haven't accumulated anywhere near as many records as I would have liked to by now, I thought I'd have a fat ass pile taking up all the room on my shelves & whilst I do have a very decent small collection of both fairly new songs and old, these things are expensive and some not as readily available as a quick download to Spotify. But if there are few things that make me happy it's Kings Of Leon and hopping out of the shower in the morning, sitting in my chair and listening to my favourite records. Owning a record player gives off a certain chilled out vibe to a room and there's something way more special about pulling a new record out of it's card board sleeve, complete with lyrics and artsy editorials, bringing back the realisation of how much goes into the creation of an album. As for King Of Leon and the list of songs on this record, go and grab it right now, so much LOVE.
And that wraps up my January favourites, maybe I can get my February Faves in a little sooner than the 7th of the month .. Maybe? One thing I almost forgot to mention that I've been loving but don't have a link for as I just got lucky I suppose, is those old fashioned magazines that you can see pictured. Turns out my grandpa had kept a bunch of old magazines/newspapers some dating back to the 1940's and it's been so cool to flick through them, admire the little illustrations and read the funny ads, especially the ones that tell you smoking is good for you! I have seen things like this in my local antique shop before now, so if you're interested and find things like this cool as I do then maybe have a little snoop around an antique shop near you or ask your grandparents!
What loves has 2017 brought you so far?
And here we have some more actual pictures of my face on the blog, this is becoming a first lately! I've been juggling a few 'firsts', I'm not sure if that's down to the fact that it's a new year and my brain is bursting with spontaneity, or if it's just the fact that I'm 20 years old now and I would like to, as much as most days adulting scares the crap out of me, I would like to actually start living and as much as it's super pretty and cosy and furbished with antique finds and my cats, live more than just inside the 4 walls of my bedroom. This post is very much inspired by a conversation I had with my friend Beth the other day, realising that we both come from a lot of feelings of anxiety and being comfortable, she told me that she has a goal to be a lot more spontaneous this year and has already booked herself in for several different things including a make up seminar, I can't say I'm entirely sure what one of those is but it sounds fancy!
Outfit/fashion related posts have been something I've always wanted to feature on this blog eventually, but I started this blog in 2014 I think, I was younger and naively believed that I could never do that kind of thing because I'm short as hell, I've never been your typical slim build that you see most outfits being showcased on by other women or fashion bloggers, I'm no Asos model. Like most teenage girls I carried a lot of insecurities with me, that followed me around long after I'd left school and THAT group of girls would stand in the corner whilst we were all getting changed into our very flattering shiny blue P.E shorts and giggle at all the girls who had "thunder thighs".
I believed that nobody would be interested in seeing that, that there are plenty of people better looking than me, who can put an outfit together a lot better than me. But in the last couple of years, I wouldn't really say an epiphany because I, like most people I'm sure still have those days where I look at myself in the mirror or catch a glimpse of my wobbly arms whilst I'm brushing my teeth, or the stretch marks that line the inside of them, and have a little dull moment to myself. I think all bodies of all shapes and sizes and imperfections are wonderful, the human body is an amazing thing, and honestly Chrissy Tegan sharing her thigh stretch marks on twitter after a few glasses of whine is my kind of real. I'm getting better, I'm getting there, and I've always thought all bodies/shapes/sizes should be loved, even when I was younger and struggled more with certain insecurities & spent the majority of my time in a school where if you were without a thigh gap, you were practically a laughing stock. I grew up in a home where I was taught to love and accept, and was given nothing but from my parents, but isn't it funny how we can preach love & acceptance for all, but still some days struggle to give ourselves that very same love?
I think a lot of us, a little older, a little wiser, a little Ashley Graham admiring, can agree that thigh gaps have to do with the build of the body and the positioning of the bones, genetics, rather than how attractive you are. But vice versa my sister came into me the other day, laid on my bed and let out a sigh, followed by "I swear I'm doing everything I can to put on some weight, it's just not happening, I don't like being this thin", Charlotte has always had an extremely fast metabolism and maybe that will alternate a little bit as she gets older, she is beautiful and I wish I could just shake her sometimes and make her fully realise that. I think what I'm trying to say is, male or female we're always trying to/wishing to change something about ourselves instead of fully appreciating the now, or like 15 year old me, comparing myself to some of those Asos models. There's nothing wrong with improvement, I applaud that, I enjoy exercise, it makes me feel good, releases any pent up frustration I may be feeling and I definitely notice a positive difference in my skin when I get my sweat on. But I'm not excessively putting myself through gruelling workouts and lengthy cardio sessions twice a day or beating myself up if I feel like eating some pizza either.
Our bodies are changing all the time, my dad has mentioned before how when he was younger he was a little bit chubbier than some of the other boys in his class, so he spent a whole Summer training himself to run cross country when he was in school because he was sick of coming last & he made makeshift weights out of some big ass dictionaries, he did become fitter, and he did come first in his cross country that same year. Then as he got a little older his metabolism got faster, he found himself eating more food than he knew what to do with, but was still very thin, and believe it or not there was just as much pressure in the 80's for guys to be all muscled and six packed up as there is now. Now, at 45 my dad is "dench" as Charlotte would say, and any guy we bring home is lucky to not be scared off. But really, a friendly giant.
My sister Millie, who is 12 but undeniably about 5-6 inches taller than me, is very tall for her age and she came into my room wearing her dance uniform, did a little pose in front of the mirror and exclaimed "you know what, I love my curves, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about that". The sass in her is real, and it honestly made me so happy to hear and I really hope that mentality stays with her.
Top - Warehouse (sold out, ASOS alternative here)
Coat - Warehouse (sold out, ASOS alternative here)
Jeans - Warehouse but distressed by self (sold out, Warehouse alternative here)
Shoes - ASOS (& now in the sale!!)
Necklace - Alex Monroe
My way of thinking is slowly changing, I don't need to look a certain way to do a certain thing, I can leave the house if I'm not looking or feeling my best, and I know Joe isn't going to break up with me if my skin doesn't look like it's freshly airbrushed out of a Lancôme advert. I have spent the best part of my life hiding away in my house, in my bedroom, complete with big baggy jumpers, which I will never stop loving or wearing, but I would also really like to stop this 'I can't wear this, I could never pull it off, I'll just stick to my jumpers'. And thus, the comfort zone. Branch out a little more, I want to branch out a little more in ways of clothing and my thought patterns. For New Year's Eve, before we'd properly gotten together, Joe invited me to a little gathering of drinks and celebration with him, his sister and some friends and inside my head I was so excited, I really really wanted to go and of course I was aiming for that NYE kiss you guys, wink wink. But dread/anxiety got the better of me, I didn't feel like I was going to look good enough and I missed out on that.
This weekend I went to stay in Suffolk with my boyfriend & his family like I do most weekends now, which has gotten me over my fear of trains, train stations are a breeze, I can do it without thinking and maybe I could even handle the dreaded '2 changes' instead of direct if I ever needed.. But one thing at a time! A year ago the thought of getting on a train all by myself would have honestly kept me awake at night. This weekend Joe spontaneously asked me if I would like to take a trip to London, visit the Natural History Museum and I of course jumped at the thought. We did a lot of walking, tube taking and even ate some food in a very cute Lebanese restaurant, and I of course was stopping every 5 minutes to take pictures of just about everything, which resulted in a 'why are you doing this to me?' kind of facial expression from Joe and a conversation that read something along the lines of "But, you do love me" .. "Yeeeeesssssssss I suppose so".
So at the end of this week I went to meet Beth, we drank tea in Lillie's tea room and ate some cake (lemon drizzle & rocky road to be precise), chatted, did a lot of giggling and then came outside to take these photo's.. It was awkward, like anything you do for the first time, but honestly anybody who walked past didn't even seem to care, we mostly just got smiles of curiosity and I think one guy said as he passed "well that's a very big camera!!" thank you for your input Sid the stranger. After a while I didn't much mind what people thought & who did or didn't see me, I was just enjoying myself and mostly laughing at Beth not being able to get the camera to focus because it was in the wrong setting (hehe).
We've also booked and are planning to go to Blog Con London in March, and are thinking about taking a cheeky little visit to Charlotte Tilbury's new pop up store in Covent Garden & getting our make up done, an absolute must for a little CT make up hoarder such as myself! Whilst in London, I'm pretty positive some more outfit pictures will be on the cards.
So this year I am not vowing, but I am promising to do my best, to stop worrying so much and to just unapologetically live my life and most importantly, enjoy it. Stop waiting, stop waiting until your skin looks a little better, or until you've lost a little weight, or for life to hand something magical to you on a golden rimmed plate. Sometimes life does throw you happy little coincidences, I consider Joe, his entire family and his dog to be a few of those, but you do also have to want to do things for yourself, to make things happen for yourself, to put on that really really nice dress that you know you'll look good in, even with a little bit of arm flabber. Drink the cocktails, go to the parties, but also don't forget about the little corner of your bedroom with your bookshelf, your chair and your cat, it's your sanity, book a train ticket, plan a spontaneous trip, whether that be to Rome or just up the road to see your nan, buy that denim mini skirt, eat the cheesecake, seize the day.
Photography by - Beth Megan H